A new city, a new job, a new relationship, or the sudden end of an existing one – change can be daunting even when exciting. While change is constant and is a given, adjusting and adapting to change is easier said than done. However, the inability to deal with change can have real and unpleasant consequences for any individual. So, how do we deal with change, big or small? Let’s pick the brains of one of the country’s leading life coaches, Vinod Adani, to know more.
Acknowledge Change
Denial is a strong yet impermanent coping mechanism, especially when dealing with change. While one can deny and attempt to mentally escape change, any efforts made are futile. Change is bound to catch up with you, and while you may not be ready to embrace change, it is imperative to acknowledge the same.
Telling yourself that your life is in transition and everything will work out fine is so much less anxiety-inducing than the mental gymnastics of denying change or running away from life transitions. As such, the first step to successfully dealing with change is acknowledging that change has come about and that’s all right.
Anticipate and Prepare for Change
While life is unpredictable, every upcoming change is not sudden or unexpected. When aware that change is on the horizon, you should anticipate and prepare for change. Changing health statuses, changing relationship statuses, job changes, a big move to a different city, and a new baby; all of these are examples of change that are not entirely unpredictable or unexpected.
As such, when change is expected, anticipate and prepare for change. Be it a new baby or a job, get your research in order, do your homework and find yourself prepared to approach change. All life changes are not known to you prior. However, when you are aware of an upcoming change in your life, prepping for the same would allow you to overcome any challenges that come with change.
Anticipate Stress Even with Good Change
Sometimes, change is stressful as we rarely have a realistic overview of good change before change happens. The prospect of a new job or a baby might seem very exciting until reality hits. A new job may come with longer hours and even more professional obligations, and any parents know that new-borns are hard. According to the art of living experts like Vinod Adani, it is best to anticipate stress even with good change.
Stability is a Myth
Time brings about change, and in that respect, stability is a myth. It is imperative to understand that the entirety of our lifetimes is defined by change. Any individual starts life as a helpless child and moves on to being an independent adult before reaching retiree status. Alongside these milestones come so many other expected and unexpected changes in life. As such, stability is a myth one must refrain from buying into.
When you understand that stability is a myth, you are less disappointed or stressed by both expected and unexpected changes in your life. This realization leads to a mind-set that is adaptable to change while limiting change-induced stress and anxiety to a manageable extent. An adapting mind-set limits change-induced stress and anxiety and optimizes your prospects of thriving with change.
The Future is Your Battle
Sometimes change can be unexpected and drastic, as was the case of Viktor Frankl when he miraculously survived a Nazi death camp. What Frankl found himself dealing with was irreparable changes to the life he knew before surviving the Nazis. Frankl had lost his entire family in the Holocaust. However, Frankl dealt with change by responding to the same in a way that could determine his future despite his past losses and championed the same.
Frankl discovered that change can sometimes mean that the life we had is out of reach and our future is very likely still in our grasp. Some changes may be tragic, but according to Frankl, his approach to his tragedies was tragic optimism, or optimism in the face of tragedy. Change is often innocuous, even when unsettling. But change can also be a great tragedy. As such, there is an obligation to fight for a better future.
Overcome Fears with Values
Change can be daunting, and nobody should think less of themselves for being afraid of change. However, according to motivational speaker Vinod Adani, one can often overcome the fears associated with change by focusing on values instead. Your values or what is important to you, be it family, your belief systems, your education, and your ethics, are all constants that assure you in the face of change.
As such, having a value system is intrinsic to adapting to change. In this context, we know those who stand for nothing fall for everything. Furthermore, while it is imperative to adapt to change, negative reactivity to change can be fuelled by the lack of a grounding belief system. Overall, life coaches like Vinod Adani recommend a positive attitude to change with an eye on the future. Furthermore, being grounded in our values, acknowledging change, anticipating and preparing for the same when possible, rejecting the myth of stability, and being undaunted by change are all equally important.
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